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I'm not able to write much lately as usual so I'm posting in some of my works that never saw light before. Confessions of An Insomniac is a year old this September and I'm grateful that some students are able to use the poems and literature on this site for their assignments, recitals and projects.

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When Even

When even faith pulls you apart from me
when even chance is unrelenting
when even the world doesn’t want us to be
my heart will remain this blind to see

when even your heart is too far
when tomorrow seems not worth any fight
at least in me I know I tried
and at the end of the day I never lied

when all else fails
when even my heart can listen no more
when my mind can no longer think
when I won’t even know what I wait for

when even wishes be no more than wishes
I'll still have one wish to cry
If only I could make me say "I love you" once more
then tomorrow, I could die


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There’s comfort in standing in the rain,
Knowing that your face is wet not only
Because of tears

And in seeing a sad movie,
Where everybody else is also crying

And just being by the bay
Where you can walk aimlessly
And nobody would notice

And in staying inside any chapel,
Where you are not required to do anything,
Or say anything,
And everybody else is silently praying

Perhaps it’s true that some people
Choose to be sad
Rather than moving on, a single step each day
For if loneliness is my only connection to you
Then for now, I choose to be this way.

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by The Wreckers (Jessica Harp + Michelle Branch)
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It’s been busy as usual but I’m trying to finish another poem so perhaps that’s a good thing. For now, while I made a promise not to post lyrics of songs on this site but I can sure post videos. The words on every song are more powerful when the music is heard, not just read. Besides, this one’s poetic and it’ll be a mainstay on my Zen for a long bit.

To a friend who’s just starting to move on (yet again)…



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It has been a week since Croc Hunter Steve Irwin’s death and I don’t exactly know why but I’ve never been this affected with a death of any celebrity or personality – and an international one at that. For all I care, the American president, any English royalty, the Philippines’ own leaders – they may all pass and I wouldn’t feel any bit of sadness (I think a lot of Americans will even rejoice) that the world has just lost someone important. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s because with Steve Irwin, a lot of people will also agree that the world did loose something.

I was watching the news and some tributes to Irwin yesterday and I can tell you, children all over the world didn’t cry for Diana or even the Pope honestly. With Irwin, we see people – regular people, and not just politicians, leaders or celebrities, paying all kinds of tributes to the Crocodile Hunter. I’ve been touched to hear the words of children crying, and even grown-ups who’ve been fans of Irwin’s work. And what’s amazing is that Irwin wasn’t even trying to be a celebrity. It was basically his commitment to wildlife preservation that made him such an icon.

Irwin did get into a lot of controversy due to his public stunts but the guy did make a lot of difference in educating people about animals and changing the way documentaries were presented. I just feel like he still has a lot to contribute to the world and then he’s suddenly gone. It is unfair that people like him are the ones that go first.

It’s been over a week now, a lot of tributes are still ongoing, and news-writers are still writing about him. Steve Irwin, you will surely be missed.

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I was having lunch with friends when the ladies started talking about what I assumed was a movie currently showing. I inquired about what movie was the conversation about and one of the women seemed reluctant to answer.

“Baka pagtawanan mo lang kami…” “You might laugh at us…” she said instead. So I deduced that it was probably a local film and I scanned my memory for recent showing local titles.

“You Are the One?” I guessed at the title. They nodded and I asked why they thought I’d laugh at them for having seen the movie. They told me they thought that I thought local movies were corny (or crappy) and that I don’t even watch them and put on a review on my Friendster blog.

Well, it’s not necessarily true that I hate local films. It’s just that if I’m going to pay 120 bucks for a movie, I’d rather spend it on a film that spent 40 million dollars to produce as opposed to a movie that has a total production cost of PhP 400k . Let me ask you, will you spend 500 bucks on a dress made from paper or on a dress made from the finest fabric?

I understand that it will look like I’m not helping out on the local movie industry. But you see when it comes to music, I download foreign songs and I buy our local albums. That’s supporting local music industry. What I’m only after is quality on the products I’m paying for. If I pay 120 pesos on a Hollywood flick, I’ll get to see exploding choppers, BMWs getting totalled or James Bond’s Austin Martin getting blown to bits. If I pay 120 pesos on a local movie, I’m lucky if I see a 1982 box-type sedan do a rollover – and these are the types of vehicles ridiculously-rich crime lords apparently drive. If we’re really lucky, we’ll see a Pajero exploding and the producers will run the sequence over-and-over for 5-8 times to get as much mileage for the investment.

What if it’s a drama film? Then I’ll simply be looking for acting skills. In fact, I used to love local movies and my all-time faves include Hihintayin na lang Kita sa Langit, Bituing Walang Ningning and other Sharon Cuneta or Dawn Zulueta flicks. Local box-office hits nowadays usually fall on the following categories: teeny-bopper love stories, comedies and horror flicks that merely recycle Japanese or other Asian-movie shocker scenes.

Back then, there was a lot of originality on our movies. They were inspired entertainment forms and producers were ready to take on any story and pull it off.

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It’s been a month since I’ve updated. Had to take a bit of a hiatus (again) due to work and health problems (what’s new). Anyway, let’s see, I’ve a couple of movies to bash and some TV series too!

Miami Vice
So it wasn’t what everybody expected. Granted, the film was shot in a very artsy way. BUT we were looking for exploding choppers, car chases at breakneck speed and impossible stunts ala Bad Boys. If I wasn’t trying to appreciate the movie, I would’ve dozed off. There are a couple of bed scenes so maybe that’s not a total loss. By the way is it just me or is Colin starting to look and act like Mel Gibson on the Lethal Weapon series?

My Super Ex-girlfriend
We couldn’t figure out if this movie was supposed to be for kids or for adults. The story and plot is definitely Disney material and not really interesting for grown-ups but the humour is more like American Pie. You can imagine our appreciation dilemma right there. Uma Thurman is gorgeous but the movie just soars straight down after watching for 35 minutes.

Click
While 50 First Dates is still Princess Leah’s best Adam Sandler movie, I’ll go with Click. You’d think that the movie was all fun and games until Sandler’s remote goes on auto-pilot and kept missing important events in his family’s lifetime. The movie shifts from being goofy funny to serious tear-jerker in just a click of the remote. Everybody I’ve talked to about the movie cried in the cinemas during the heaviest scene toward the end but they loved it. Sandler obviously has a gift for touching people – either by making them laugh or making them cry – or in this case laughing and crying at the same time (look out for Sandler’s dirty finger on the last scenes!).

On Cable:

Carnivale (HBO)
The HBO original series started out with a huge buzz but apparently failed to deliver. It was definitely an inspired project with outstanding cinematography for a cable series but the story was painstakingly slow. Let’s put it this way, if you missed 2 episodes in 24, you won’t be able to follow through the series anymore. Now if you missed 2 or 3 issues of Carnivale, it probably won’t hurt you much since there’s not much happening on each episode anyway. The end of the 2-season mini-series was a cliff-hanger – I don’t think I’ll waste time for a third season if they are still planning on one.

High School Musical
This is currently a best-selling soundtrack CD in the country due to the TV-movie’s huge hit on Disney Chanel. The songs were wonderful and although the story follows the generic Disney plot, it would have to be the best on the category. You will feel a bit cheesy on some of the acting done by the cast but if you keep in mind that this was a musical then what they’re doing is just standard stage-type of acting. Highly recommended for the whole family.

Prison Break
We were just able to finish season 1 of this fast-paced series that will remind viewers of 24. It’s definitely a guy-series. Lots of blood, violence, cursing, beating, politics, murder and investigation work but not so many hot women here though. The kind of sex we only get here is the one that happens on all-male prison cells. The show is definitely gripping and you’d want to finish the whole season off in one seating like you probably did with 24. My only comment here is that the characters were obviously subjected to the full extent of Murphy’s Law. For a structural engineer (who built the penitentiary in the first place) to intricately plan the break, it’s a wonder something’s always bound to go wrong in each episode.

Ghost Whisperer
We haven’t finished the whole DVD (first season) yet but it’s a kind-of lite-viewing for the whole family. Wentworth Miller guest-starred on the pilot episode and the way he acted, he might as well have come out straight from Fox River State Penitentiary (see Prison Break) and visited Jeniffer Love, who plays our I-can-see-dead-people lead. We’re halfway through the series and I’ll get a proper review when we’re done.

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PS - I haven't the time to search for typos so feel free to point 'em out for now.