So the Insomniac loves writing poems and sappy songs. The Insomniac even collects them along with short stories and other inspiring reading. That doesn?t mean that he's a wholesome person through and through. Meet Emyn Galad, a writer in her early 40's. Since this is a 'Confessions' blog and since I'm just keeping it true, I confess that I admire her writing and her views in life. It'll be proper, though, to let readers find out for themselves about what she writes about and who she is.

If you would look on the lower left-hand side of this blog-site, you'd notice I have added her 2005 blog on my Friendly Bloggers list. Her 2004 blog is located here. While her writing would definitely send blood rushing to certain body parts, her entries are undeniably intellectual and insightful that you get to learn something new with every read. It is proof that the brain indeed is the most powerful sexual organ.

I'd like to share a page from her book so here and I quote (highlights mine):

" 'the root of my frustration is that i've opened up myself
to pain and love and rejection in the hopes of finally starting to live.
so this is life? being rejected and ignored? alone and lonely?
not much different from when i didnt have a life.

" 'possible solution: live anyway. love anyway.
cry in the confines of my room. affirm my feelings.
never deny my feelings. accept my reality.
talk to francis. share with francis my joys and sorrows,
my failures and triumphs. share with him my everyday.

" 'live, anyway. and love, if only to affirm
that i am not a rock and i am not an island.
if only to let people know that i, too, can choose
to love and not to love. to turn the tables on the world.

" 'my life is not out of control. i am in control.'

--

I confess that the Insomniac is a sensual being. And there are a lot like me although some are either in-denial or haven't discovered / realized it yet.

--

*Oh, by the way, I just remembered I did give writing erotic literature a shot two years back. Maybe I'll post it here - someday, perhaps if the requests pour in *winks*

That was the the line that jerked my tears when I saw the romantic comedy film "Ten Things I Hate About You". For me, it was the best chick flick / teeny bopper movie (or whatever you call it) during its time as it went along She's All That (Rachel Leigh Cook), Drive Me Crazy (Melissa Joan Heart) etc. I liked the movie simply because it didn't star bubble-gum-pretty actresses; and I'm not saying Julia Stiles, who leads on "Ten Things", isn't pretty. She's just a cut above the rest when you follow her film career. The movie also sound-tracked the songs "I Want You To Want Me" (Letters To Cleo) and "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" (Gloria Gaynor) which make it even better than the other teen flicks.

Syempre, the best ingredient of the movie for me would be Kat's poem 10 Things I Hate About You which was written by Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith.

--

10 Things I Hate About You
Kat Stratford

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith

--

While this blog isn't meant to be a 6-year old film review, here are some bits you may've not known about the movie and why I like it so much:

"Ten Things" is basically an adaptation of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. On Shakespeare's play, the two sisters in The Taming of the Shrew are named Katherina and Bianca, while the two sisters in Ten Things are named Katarina and Bianca. Katarina and Bianca's last name is Stratford, making reference to Stratford-upon-Avon, the English town known worldwide as the birthplace of Shakespeare. Katarina's suitor in Shakespeare's play is Petruchio of Verona becoming Patrick Verona in Ten Things. In Ten Things, the high school is named Padua, the city in which Shakespeare's play is set.


--

Still having a hang-over from Footloose and I'm frustrated because I can't seem to find my Chorus Girl CDs... I'm trying to score tickets for Nina: Live at the Araneta Colliseum but too bad, the cheapest tickets are sold-out. I don't usually buy the cheapest passes but hey, I'm out of budget here!

--

I thought it was just fair to write a girl's-point-of-view on the poem "Malas Lang". So I guess for those reading, it would be nice to read "Malas Lang" first. Pagpasensyahan nyo na lang, I'm still feeling a bit jologs today.

--

Malas Lang Din


Alam ko namang may nararamdaman ka
Ayaw mo lang magsalita
Kaya nga ako na ang naunang lumapit
at umaming mahal na kita

Sabi mo pa nga 'di tayo bagay
Sabi ko naman "I really don't freakin' care!"
Kaso ba't nga ganun ang mundo?
madalas malas, madalas unfair

Sabi mo, ako'y langit
ikaw nama'y taga-lupa
Pero nung nagkalayo tayo
lahat ng meron ako'y nabalewala

'Di mo naman ako kailangang
ilagay sa mga bituin
Pero sa bawat paglapit ko
bakit kay hirap mong abutin?

Fi-nlat ko pa nga yung kotse ko
Masabayan ka lang sa MRT
Pinaltan mo naman yung gulong ko
At kahit naliligo ka na sa pawis,
tuloy pa rin ang 'yong ngiti

Naaliw nga 'ko sa baon mong Maling
Paborito ko yun kasi, mula bata pa
Yung dala kasi ng mga manliligaw ko
Mamahalin man, 'di ko gets yung lasa

Sinusundo nga'ko lagi ng mga pumipila
'Di naman ako maka-relate sa mga trip nila
Pero sa totoo lang pag tayo ang magkasama
lagi mo akong napapatawa

'Di ko nga alam ba't bigla kang lumayo
Nagpalipat ka pa nga ng opisina
Dahil ba sa napagkamalang drayber kita?
O dahil sa nalaman mong ako'y mahal ka?

Boyfriend ko nga ngayon, pilit lang ng magulang
Pero alam kong ito'y panandalian lang.
Dahil hanggat "single" ang status ng Friendster mo,
at hindi ka pa nag-aasawa
Pagmamahal ko sa'yo'y ipaglalaban ko
at hahanapin pa'rin kita.


--
lei

-

It's still a long run 'till payday but I'm breaking my budget to buy tickets for Footloose". It's this musical stage production that's a remake of the movie that starred Kevin Bacon. This time it casts Jay-R and MYX VJ Iya Villania for the lead roles. I love Iya as a VJ but there were some not so positive reviews about her acting on stage but I'm cool with it. It's her first stage act anyway. I'd love to see Agot Isidro (huge crush!) though. Another veteran on stage will be Audie Gemora.

Another reason to see it is because of the music - "Almost Paradise" which will be dueted by Iya and Jay-R, "Holding Out For A Hero" ('I need a hero!'), "Let's Hear It For The Boy" by Iya and the other actresses, and of course the theme "Footloose". Enough to get me looking for my Chorus Girl CDs!

--

For today's dose, here's something for the cynics. Came across this while I was looking for my fave authors and I just had to post this here. It's actually a collection of the bad-ass lines from other poems with unknown authors.

-

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

--

Feeling a little jologs today. I try to get inspiration from everything. Or anyone. Sometimes when a friend talks to me about his or her love problems (why does it always have to be about love???) and I get to relate to it, I get inspired to write about it as if it was my problem. Sometimes I feel like writing when I see a really touching or poignant movie. Sometimes it's just about any stupid thing.

Across our office building, is a "hottie" (just lacking a better term) that the guys here go gaga over. She probably owns the company fronting my window. She drives a Mazda3 wagon and a BMW.

--

Malas Lang


Halos mamatay ako sa tuwa noon
Nung sinabi mong ako'y mahal mo
Puso ko nga, gusto nang huminto
Sumikat ang araw, kahit na bumabagyo


Pero, hello, reality-check muna
dahil bagay nga ba'ko sa isang tulad mo?


Ang cute mo pa nga noon
Pang close-up model ang ngiti
Samantalang ngipin ko naman
'Di mawari ang pagkakasungki


Lahat nga ng ex mo diba
ang gagara ng kotse
Samantalang ako naman
Lugi parin sa pamasahe


Sa Starbucks ka pa nga madalas
para lang magpabarya
Eto ngang kape ko sa umaga
minsan lasa pang paminta


Lingo-lingo, buwan-buwan
may bago ka pa ngang damit
Samantalang mga t-shirt ko sa cabinet
nanilaw na sa anghit


Sana lang makapag-update
na'ko ng fashion wear
Kasi pagnagla-lunch out tayo
mukha akong drayber


Nag-adapt na nga kapayatan ko
Dahil laging siksikan sa MRT
Dala mo naman araw-araw sa opisina
yung bagong Mazda 3


Humanga ka pa nga dahil minsa'y
napaltan ko ang flat na gulong mo
'Di ko lang masabi, kasi
dati akong nagku-krudo


Kakahiya ngang baon ko palagi Maling lang
'Pag swerte, may kasama pang tikoy
Tapos hinahatian mo pa'ko ng dala mong
galing pang Teriyaki Boy


'Di ko naman hiniling na may maramdaman ka
'Di ko rin hiningi na ika'y sumumpa
Pero kinailangan kong lumayo at ayokong mahatak ka
Dahil noong panahong iyo'y marami pa'kong problema


Makakaahon din naman ako
dahil mabait pa rin ang tadhana
Kaso nga lang huli na din siguro
Kasi ngayon, may kasama ka nang iba.


--
lei

--

On a lighter note, here's something I wrote when I was having this huge infatuation/crush on a junior girl back in college. Maybe I was a bit sucking up to her friend who happened to be my friend too so I could get a better chance with her. With the help of some build up (from my friend of course), I did get to know the girl better and we even came to be "pager pals" (that was when the beeper thingies were the "in" thing). I realized we weren't on the same page (or world) so she remained as a crush that never got to develop. ;)

I wrote this to our common friend who was helping me out and tried to put a bit of a twist in it.

--


Friends and Bridges


How can I thank you for everything
For being so kind and true
I do appreciate your patience in me
And I know I could really trust you


You?re really pretty each time you smile
My troubles would surely go for a while
But don?t worry, I won?t ask even a cent
For these praises that go for miles


You?ve made me continue my dreaming
For all the hopes you gave each day
Though from you I?ve been keeping something
I hope I could someday say


I felt the joy every time we?re together
You?re one wonderful person I?ll remember ?till the end
But could I ask, just a bit favor?
You see, I?m falling for your friend?


--
lei 1999


=============================================

This is another one that's popular over the internet. This goes way back when I was second year in highschool making the poem older than "Class Ring" by at least two years. I still have the highschool journal that published the piece. It was then posted by a junior named Frujeira Sharief. I never got to confirm if she was the author or if she'd just discovered the simple but melodic poem.

This one was an inspiration to a lot of hungry young poets and has spawned other works that changed only the "Skywriter" profession to "Artist" or "Painter" etc. but always ended with "I've written/painted your name, all over my heart".

--

The Skywriter


If I were a skywriter
here's what I'd do
I'll tell all the world
of my love for you


On some bright mornings
you'd look up high
To see your name
all over the sky


Yes I would be happy
and I would be proud
To write my love
in words of cloud


But lacking a plane
and a pilot's art
I've written your name
all over my heart


--
Author Unknown
Posted by Frujeira Sharief, 1995
USTHS - The Aquinian

--

All I can confirm from my searching is that the author is indeed and atleast of the same nationality as Frujeira since all the people who posted the poem on their websites, forums and blogs were Filipinos. At least no one else is claiming they have written the poem themselves. When I reached college, I discovered that the poem was gaining coverage of Metro Manila highschools like Poveda, Assumption and Saint Paul.

--

This would probably be Sandy Roistan'smost popular poem. Something that went all over the internet and every campus. Everybody claimed to have written it so I wanted to know where the poem originated to give proper credit. A few lines were later added to it and was used to warn against the dangers of drinking and driving via forwarded emails.

At the time only a few people have read "Class Ring", it was agreed that it was beautiful and one of the saddest poems for highschool hopeless romanics.

--

Class Ring


He's near the door
He paused to stand
As he took his class ring off her hand
All who were watching did not speak
As a silent tear ran down his cheek


And through his mind
The memories ran
of the moment they walked
and ran in the sand


But now her eyes
so terribly cold
For he would never again
have her hand to hold


They watched in silence
As he bent near
and whispered the words "I love you"
in her ear


He touched her face and began to cry
As he put on his class ring
he wanted to die
Just then the wind begain to blow
As they lowed her casket in the snow


--
Sandy Roistan

--

"As they lowered her casket in the snow" that was the last line of the poem Class Ring, written by Sandy Roistan. It was one of the saddest, written poetry when I was in high school. The poem used to be everywhere and even on forwarded emails and everyone was claiming to have written it.


I liked how she did her rhymes. All Because You Kissed Me Goodnight was also written by Sandy Roistan and it was the first poem I read that had brilliant wordplay in it (you don't get to read much creative writing back in highschool).


~


All because you kissed me goodnight


I climbed the door, and opened the stairs,
Said my pajamas and put on my prayers,
Then turned off the bed and crawled into the light,
All because you kissed me goodnight.


Next morning, I woke and scrambled my shoes,
Polished my eggs and toasted the news,
I couldn't tell my left from my right,
All because you kissed me goodnight.


That evening at last, I felt normal again,
So I picked up my mother, and called up the phone,
I spoke to the puppy and threw dad a bone
Even at midnight, the sun was still bright,
All because you kissed me goodnight.


--
Sandy Roistan

--

I like posting tagalog poems lately. Maybe it's because they strike deep into the heart. "Sa Bawat Pintig" was written by my dear friend Jeosa (she now prefers the name Jowee). She now resides abroad and I get to talk to her via Yahoo. She's one of my favorite writers and inspirations in writing. I memorized this one by heart because I loved it so much I think I even recited it to a girl ha-ha.

Ito ang pinakanakakakilig na tula sa tanang buhay ko:


Sa Bawat Pintig


Kung ako'y aawit ng isang pag'ibig
Ikaw ang letra, ang tatayong titik
Ikaw ang musika, ang magsisilbing himig
Tunay na aawitin, sa puso'y iparirinig


Kung ako nama'y tutula't magsasamakata
Ilalagay kita sa mga talata
Maiinggit ang gabi, kikiligin ang mga tala
Ito'y bibigkasin, aariing panata


At kung dumating man ang araw ng paglaos
Nitong pagi'big na tinawag na taos
Psasalamat sa'yoy 'di pa ring magtatapos
Dahil sa bawat pintig, alaala mo'y maglalaos...

--
jeosa

--

In courtship, sometimes bone-headed persistence is the key. That?s what we always remind our friend here at work as he is currently pursuing his love of his life. Maybe he?s headed for eternal bliss, maybe he?s headed for a crash landing ? it really doesn?t matter right now. Who knows, maybe in time, the girl will suddenly realize ?mahal ko na pala sya??.

I wrote the poem below back in high school when I was head over heels with a girl named Janelle. I was headed for a crash landing ha-ha. But hey, that?s life and I?m never going to change the way I love.

--

HANGGANG MAGUNAW ANG MUNDO


Hamak lang na nagmamahal sa iyo
Buong buhay ko ay inaalay ko
Habang buhay mo man akong ipagtabuyan
Umasa kang ako pa rin ay nandiyan


Maski na layuan at ako?y ikahiya
Ang buong puso ko?y aking itataya
Sakalin mo man ako at lunurin sa batya
Itali mo man ako at ibigting patihaya


Saktan mo man ako at paiyakin ng isang baldeng luha
Isang ngiti mo lamang at ako?y matutuwa
Pag antayin mo man ako araw araw sa iyong pag uwi
Maski na abutin hanggang hating gabi
Ang mga mata ko ma?y tuluyang mamuti
Aking titiyaking ligtas kang palagi


Palagi mo man akong iwan at mawala kang parang bula
Hindi mo man pansinin at iwanang tulala
Ipagpalit mo man ako kung sino man siya
Ako?y naririto't mamahalin pa rin kita


Hindi mo man bigyang pansin ang aking mga ginagawa
Na para sa iyo?y mabigyan ka ng tuwa
Tanggihan mo man ang aking mga pinaghirapan
Ibilad mo man ako sa araw; Isabit mo pa'ko sa buwan
Patalunin man sa tulay hanggang sa matuluyan
Hangad ko lamang ay ang iyong kagalakan


Lasunin mo man ako upang matigilan ang pangungulit
Ipaambush mo man ako upang di na umulit
Ibaon mo man ako ng buhay upang hindi na makita
Habang buhay pa rin akong hindi mawawalan ng pag asa


Bumalik man ang bagyong si rosing at ako?y tangayin
Lunurin mo man sa lahar at ang bigas ay ubusin
Ikumpara mo man ako kay Tyson at tawaging maitim
Hanggang maging effective ang odd - even scheme


Kamay ko ma'y ipaputol mo
Ako pari?y magpipinta para lamang sa iyo
Ang lahat ng ito ay gagawin ko sa isang saglit
kailanma?y hindi ako hihingi ng kapalit
Pagkat sa buong buhay ko aking ikasisiya
Ang sa iyo?y maibigay lahat ng aking makakaya


Presyo ng bilihin ma'y magsipagtaas
Bibilhan pa rin kita ng kotse kahit wala tayong pang-gas
Maglalakad akong pauwi, makatipid lang ng barya
Kahit 'di na'ko kumain, mapasalubungan lamang kita


Maaring mayaman nga yung manliligaw mong kano
Mapapantayan ba nya, saklob ng paghanga ko
Pagka't ikaw lamang ang syang tinitingala
Pangalan mo'y nakasulat sa langit, katabi ng mga tala


Kahit sabihing may makikita ka pang iba
Wala namang mas gagaling pang umawit at tumula
Kahit ang mga kanta man ay 'di tayo mapakain
Gabi-gabi, araw-araw ka namang kikiligin


Pakinggan mo lang sana ang aking damdamin
Ikaw ang mamahalin sa panghabangbuhay
Malaman ko lang sana na ikaw ay may kaunting pagtingin
Iyong oras ding iyo?y puwede na akong mamatay


Tayo may magkalayo, maghihintay pa rin ako...
Hanggang magunaw ang mundo... mananatiling tapat sa'yo

--
lei, circa 1996


--


Regret from not being able to show the one you love the way you feel is more painful than flat out rejection. So we told our guy friend to just go for it with all he can give to win the girl?s heart. What she feels in return doesn?t really matter right now. What?s important is for him to get his feelings out. Sometimes a girl just doesn?t want to be confused with her feelings she doesn?t even want to open up for suitors he-he.

-

Merlin, my bestfriend from elementary is finally back in Manila after spending time working in Laguna and Bacolod City. We haven't changed a bit. We still like the same stuff, play the same music and we still both suck at math (although we have different tastes when it comes to women!). It was a nice manic Monday yesterday because I was able hang out with him even after a toxic day at work.

Conversation went to our friend Harbie's wedding. We were both amazed that two people, after going through a decade of being mostly apart can still end up together. For me, Harbie and her now husband Alfredo are my confirmation that true love does exist. I'd never have survived an almost decade-long long distance relationship.

When you miss someone so bad, the days go by either too fast or too slow. You'd basically want to skip the hours, the days, the months, the years and land just on the day you and the one you love would meet again. I wrote this one when I was feeling just like that.

--

Really You and Me


If I could make the days go by faster
with me just looking by, watching as the sky change its color
Just letting time fly from night to day
So I won't have to take the pain of missing you with me


I wish I could speed up the days
That there will be no more time for misunderstandings and doubts...
All we'll remember was that the last thing we said to each other
was 'I'm not leaving you behind'
Then things may go all well
And finally we'll both see
that it was really, you and me


If only I could watch the clock make a fast 24-hours,
or count the days by the minute
So I won't have to go through all the days we won't be together
Then there'll be no room for tears but just the feel of it,
There'll be no room for missing each other but just the thought of it...


Then, maybe, we'll finally see
that it was, after all, really you and me.


--
lei

*I chose to write down the following in my native dialect so I won't take away the essence of the poem and what I felt when I wrote it.

--

Galit ako sa pera. Hindi naman sa ayokong yumaman pero minsan mas gusto ko naman talaga ng tahimik lang. Kung pwede lang ba ang ganun sa bansang ito na walang pag-asa eh.


Dahil sa pera, nawalan ako ng matalik na kaibigan. dalawang taon pa ang kelangan lumipas para makapag-ayos kami uli pero nasayang na ang panahon.


May kakilala pa ako na umibig sa isang babaeng print-ad model. Matapos ang isang linggo na sila?y lumalabas, umamin yung babae na sa club sya nagtatrabaho. Minahal nung lalake yung babae kahit sino man sya at kahit saan man sya nanggaling pero nang tumagal, sinabi nung babae na magpapakasal na ito sa kakilala ng tito nya sa ibang bansa. Bakit? Dahil daw madami syang pangarap ? bahay, kotse etsetera. Hindi mayaman yung kaibigan ko kaya wala na din itong magawa kundi magpalaya at masaktan dahil hindi nya kaya ibigay yung hinahanap ng minamahal nya.


Mula noon, tingin na nya (minsan ako din) na hindi na pala pag-ibig ang importante ngayon. Pera na.

--

Bakit Gusto Kong Maging Dukha


Dahil gusto kong gumising sa lamig ng hangin ng madaling araw
at hindi sa ginaw ng aircon


Dahil gusto kong maghapunan ng simple
kasakasama ang magulang at kapatid
sa isang maliit na mesa at may masayang kwentuhan


Dahil gusto kong makausap ang mga totoong tao
may pangarap, may prinsipyo
At dahil gusto kong magkaroon ng mga tunay na kaibigan,
walang yabang at mababaw lang din ang kaligayahan


Dahil gusto kong matuto
sa mga taong marunong magmahal ng kapwa tao
At makakatulog ako ng mahimbing
dahil alam kong wala akong ibang natatapakan


Dahil gusto kong maglaro sa ulan
na walang magbabawal
At dahil gusto kong maarawan
maramdaman na mahal ka rin ng mundo
Dahil kahit hindi malaki ang mundo
kasama ko lahat ng importante sa buhay


Dahil kahit gaanong liit na bagay ang gawin ko
sumulat, magpinta - may makakapansin


Dahil gusto kong masugatan
tanda ng aking mga natutunan
Pare-pareho lang din naman
mayaman, mahirap - nasasaktan din, namomroblema
At least kilala ko kung sino'ng kakampi ko
kahit wala akong maibibigay na kapalit
Dahil hanggat alam kong may kasama ako, kaya ko


Dahil natututo akong makuntento
kung hindi talaga para sa'kin
natatanggap kong maluwag sa damdamin


Isang kahig, isang tuka
isang patak ng luha, isang saglit na saya


Ok na din kahit simple ang buhay
hindi naman parati ang lungkot


Isa lang naman ang masakit
kahit matagal nang tanggap ko
na hinding-hindi ko maibibigay
ang buhay na nararapat sayo.


--
lei

I decided it would do a good service to christen this blog with one of my close friend's recent writtings. He's just up on the clouds and in love right now. Hopefully he doesn't come crashing down anytime soon...

--

Speechless


Words can never express the feelings that I have for you.
Words are not good enough to say the reasons why I love you so much.
Words can never describe the happiness that I feel each time I see you pass by.


I think about you every day and night.
Thinking about how beautiful you are whenever you smile.
Thinking about the joys I spent together with you.


You were always an inspiration to my strength.
Always an encouragement to the life I live right now.
Always someone who I wanted to spend time with.


If only I can tell you how much I want to be with you.
If only I can put into words on how much you mean to me.
All I can say is that I love you.
And I hope that one day you can give me the chance to prove that love to you.


-ami circa 2005


--