"Ngalang Pinoy: A Primer on Filipino Wordplay", published by Tahanan Books just went out last month and I'm rolling my ass off laughing at the book's content. Selected and edited by Neni Sta. Romana Cruz (Author of: You Know You're Filipino When), the book is a collection of hilarious business names and signs found all over the country. Oh yeah, this one has pictures of the shops even!

For a sample dose, there is a kiosk that sells kikiam, siomai and fishballs - the name of the shop: Kik-Mai-Bols.

Then there's this canteen named Ka-me Mura. Just across that one is another eatery signed Mas Mu-ra Ka-mi. How about the laundry place called Cinna Von and the car wash shop BayWash?

This is a laugh-trip book plain and simple. Good to have if you're a moron at entertaining guests at your house.

--

I'll try and find time to share those stuff online but for the meantime, it made me remember another publication on moronic signages. Whoever made these signs below surely defeats their purpose.

• From a sign used by the Metro Vigan Water District: "Thank you for the inconvenience."
  .
• McDonald's - "Sarap ng breakfast, maghapon na!"
  .
• Gin-gin's Tailoring and DressShop Accepts Maid-to-Order
  .
• On a wall: "Bawal magtapon ng Basora at Diapir dito!"
  .
• Photocopier in Diliman: "PAKOPYA NI EDGAR"
  .
• NO TILIBABAD (bawal daw tumili sa phone??)
  .
• On a jeepney: "P7.50 ang pamasahe kahit dyan lang"
  .
• Wanted: OFFICE PERSONALS
  .
• On a lot: "Tresspassers will be shot! Survivors will be... SHOT AGAIN!"
  .
• "Wanted: Boy waitress" - on Baguio restaurant
  .
• "Sala sit for sale" - on a free ads paper
  .
• Warning: Men working a head.
  .
• "National Bookstore: The Country's National Bookstore" - just plain moronic
  .
• Malolos, Bulacan: ICE FOR HERE
  .
• On a construction site - "Erection in progress" - nice!
  .
• On a wall: "Bawal umehe deto"
  .
• OUR PUBLIC BAR IS PRESENTLY NOT OPEN BECAUSE IT IS CLOSED - thanks for explaining...
  .
• "WE MAKE APHOLSTERY"
  .
• "NO ID NO ENTER"
  .
• "None ID... Nothing Entry"
  .
• BF Homes: "Ice 4 sale.
  also available Drinking Meneral Water and Water thingy.." - What they really meant was water dispenser.
  .
• Champion to: "DOGLETS for sale"
  .
• Eatery: "LOGAW BBQ at LUMI for 20 pesos"
  .
• Sa jeepney: God's Provide
  .
• On a shop: "We fix deepwills"
  .
• On the jeepneys: "BATAK MO, STUFF KO"
  .
• Tarlac: "We make antique furniture"
  .
• Boracay: "henna tatoo & body penting"
  .
• On an Edsa beer joint: "Tonight's SURPRISED Guest..."
  .
• WANTED: Cook, Yaya, Baby Sister
  .
• Los Banos: "shoe reaper"
  .
• BF Homes: "NO PARK" - parang kulang ata toh??
  .
• Welcome Rotonda:
  ITAAS ANG SAHOD>>>
  PANTY IBABA>>
  .
• On a wall: "BAWAL OMEHI DETU -
  ANG MAHOLI BOGBOG"
  .
• On a road sign: "no parking, to away zone"
  .
• On a Sampaloc lot: "Hindi dito ang tapunan ng patay na pusa"
  .
• On a wall near FEU: "BAWAL MAG TAPON NG SINUPOT NA TAE DITO."
  .
• On a bumper sticker, DON'T STEAL. THE GOVERNMENT HATES COMPETITION
  .
• WANTED: Bedspacers For Rent (Ladies Only) - must be a prostitution den
  .
• At a Megalink ATM: "OOF LINE"
  .
• Bus signs:
  "BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF" (?!?)
  .
• Vacant lot near Makati Ave.:
  "DON'T PARKING"
  .
• Tubero:
  Call Boy
  .
• PLEASE DON'T BLACK THE DRIVEWAY
  .

Our office building has a badminton court with parking area. The sign on the parking lot reads:

• To all cos2mer, please park properly. Please don't gap big space between cars.
  .

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If we think we're dumb, Japan's definitely the worsest when it comes to English.







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