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I am actually having a lot of fun and feeling a prick of nostalgia writing this entry up. While it would seem that our topic is intently juvenile, there is some bearing behind the realities of living an adolescent school life. It is fun going back through all those days in high school but it is also at the same time a serious matter that I just realized people might benefit from – parents and teenagers alike.

Warning - No academic tips can be found reading this entry.

First Steps
I can still vividly remember the trauma I felt when I first stepped on the corridors of my first elementary school. I got overwhelmed with all the other students, the size of the halls, the whole building – everything that I wanted to cry. People eventually overcome this stage as they go through grade 1 to grade 6 but it was the same thing all over again when I entered high school. People were meaner, more competitive and more intimidating. I gained “bully” status when I was in grade 6 (it helped that I was doing aikido) but it was back to square one all over again during my freshman year in high school. I knew I needed to start over if I wanted to survive the next four years.

You may be an eccentric artist who might not care whatever people think. But you really won’t learn anything at all if you don’t gain friends and the delicate art of “pleasing people” while maintaining dignity. Plus, high school is the crucial point where people need to build their self esteem and friends are the only people who can help with that department – aside from yourself.

Buddy Up
Be as sociable as you have to be when you get in high school. For example - if you’re a geek, share your homeworks etc. This effort will give you much more in return – ie: protection from bullies, getting help when a project requires hardware and manual labor. I got a lot of bully friends in elementary and highschool and we had a lot of fun picking on selfish geeks and lower year nerds. The idea might be disturbing but it’s a fact that these situations happen and there’s little society can do about it. Oh, but we also befriended a lot of geeks and we were able to live in a “sharing” environment. In exchange they got to learn socializing skills - specially when it came to talking with the girls. Unfortunately, if you’re on the first or cream section, you won’t likely get to experience this “sharing” environment – there’s just too much competition.

I used to be a geek and it was definitely no fun at all. I was puny, small and thin – I still am. But I learned to play heavy metal guitar and drums and that was a hit not only with the guys but with the lower year girls as well ha-ha. You just got to find your niche.

If you’re a genius, SHARE IT. My seatmate who has been called stupid by other guys (he isn’t a geek of course) is now studying medicine in the US. Don’t think that just because you have high grades and honors, you’re better. That’s just how high school works and labels kids. But when you graduate, it’s a whole different ballgame where those who you thought was stupid will excel in their right places like architecture, medicine, computer programming, literature, the arts etc. Those people might even employ you when they land a managerial position at McCann Erikson so remember to help people out and don’t judge them because they’re bad at math. They will remember your good deeds as well as the bad.

Vice-versa
In an article in this month’s Good Housekeeping, a guidance counselor points out that school is where vices start to develop. When a kid sees a popular school athlete smoking, s/he might also want to try it out to be “cool”. Girls will want to try out skimpy clothes to look like the latest pop idol. When a popular boy is heard using foul language and curses every other 5 words, unpopular kids might also try speaking the same lingo. If a popular girl/muse is known to be drinking beer and other alcoholic drinks during after school activities, the not-so-pretty girls might follow suit.

My advice is this: you can take in the motto “try everything once” but know how to control yourself. I know my sister got into smoking to gain popularity in high school because she was an elementary joke but she never got out of the habit. She also never had quality friends and quality boyfriends.

For the guys, I say this fact: beer and smoking doesn’t guarantee sexual experience – which will get you even more popularity points than beer and smoking combined. Girls will want that bad boy attitude so putting on some rockstar vibe will help but you will only want the quality girls anyway who will prefer non-smokers and the sober. I learned to smoke, I also fancy red wine, I was able to try some herbal hallucinogens and I’m sure I’m going to try out E someday but my point is, none of these things got into my system and took control of my body.

It’s nice if you have that “I don’t care what people think of me” attitude but you don’t need to learn vices just to have fun. If you want to get to know the enemy, you have to try them out – but that’s just me.

Sucker Up
Of course we can’t ignore the teachers. Your success directly depends on their hands. So SUCK UP. It won’t hurt as long as your friends know you’re doing it for everyone’s benefit. DON’T BE SELFISH. Whatever you gain from your sucking up, make sure you share them to your classmates. That way, you’re not a geek but rather, a brilliant schemer and class hero. Getting my point now?

Always try to get a seat on the front row. You’re likely to get fewer calls for recitation if you’re right in front. In fact, if you make an effort to make 1 recitation per month, it will seem that you are always participating just because you got more visual recall.

Relationships
No matter what you parents say, go for it. Don’t take it too seriously though. Remember that your studies are your priorities but having relationships early on will teach you a lot in life. You’ll get dumped, cheated on, rejected, ignored, get busted and everything that could break your heart may happen on a single term but you’ll live. You will benefit a lot in return like learning how to deal with the opposite sex, knowing how to reject suitors, learning how to survive a rejection, discovering that you’re capable of love and learning to discern if you’re just infatuated.

Be warned of the dangers of too much intimacy. Remember never to throw everything away for a guy or girl. Your world may still be small but when you graduate, you’ll discover that there’s an ocean of men and women out there and there’s always a match for you. At this point in life, the “you and me against the world” attitude won’t do much benefit. If you’re already working too hard to make a relationship work, that’s a clue that it isn’t supposed to be – at least not yet.

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There is probably more stuff in my survival book but maybe they’ll come in later posts when they’re relevant. I realize whatever I suggested above might require a lot of emotional fortitude and stability but parents reading with an open mind might benefit from the realities teenagers face. But hey, I’m not a shrink so don’t read on too much. We’re just having fun.

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